This blog is about Minnesota and North Dakota and the connections that we have. Heidi Heitkamp is a Senator from North Dakota and is being considered to be a part of the Trump cabinet which, if offered and accepted, immediately means that she is a rascist, misogynistic, white supremacist. She was also born in Breckinridge Minnesota which means she can never be a Minnesotan again because she left. Leaving Minnesota is a slight that can never be forgiven by, well, Minnesotans. There are folks that they might wish would leave but they will never admit it. Minnesota’s offering to the craziness is Keith Ellison considered by some Hilary supporters to be an anti- semitic, black supremacist, who lives in a wonderland where all of his statements that get recorded are doctored to make him look like an anti semitic, black supremacist. Of course he never said that there should be a special place where only blacks are allowed to live. That was taken out of context. It would be a special enclave for blacks that they would not be forced to move to, and a place where “peaceful” whites would not be forced to leave. Thanks for the clarification Mr. Ellison, since it would be folks like me out here in the hinterland that would pay for it like we pay for everything else. Reparations for slavery and Jim Crow would pay for this special place you see. Minnesota seems to have a talent for raising up leaders like this but that is another story. Anyway I digress. I wanted to write about arguments.
Immutable racism defined by the left means that if you have an opinion that is different from a Democrat you are a racist. There have been added other shibboleths over the years. If you disagree with a Democrat over say, shower and restroom facility usage, you are LGBTQ phobic. Any disagreement about anything makes you a sexist or a misogynist. By the way if you really want an argument state the case that Jim Crow was a particular invention of Democrats or the fact that the Senator that filibustered the Civil Rights Acts was Al Gore’s father.
Listening to the news lately reminds of the old Monty Python sketch where a man comes into an office and wants to buy and argument. It is a bit long but well worth reading. It is really fun if you type it out and have a cast do the sketch.
A man walks into an office.
Man: (Michael Palin) Ah. I’d like to have an argument, please.
Receptionist: Certainly sir. Have you been here before?
Man: No, this is my first time.
Receptionist: I see. Well, do you want to have the full argument, or were you thinking of taking a course?
Man: Well, what would be the cost?
Receptionist: Well, It’s one pound for a five minute argument, but only eight pounds for a course of ten.
Man: Well, I think it’s probably best if I start with the one and then see how it goes from there, okay?
Receptionist: Fine. I’ll see who’s free at the moment.
(Pause)
Receptionist: Mr. DeBakey’s free, but he’s a little bit conciliatory. Ahh yes, Try Mr. Barnard; room 12.
Man: Thank you. (Walks down the hall. Opens door.)
Angry man: WHADDAYOU WANT?
Man: Well, Well, I was told outside that…
Angry man: DON’T GIVE ME THAT, YOU SNOTTY-FACED HEAP OF PARROT DROPPINGS!
Man: What?
M: Yes, but I came here for an argument!!
A: OH! Oh! I’m sorry! This is abuse!
M: Oh! Oh I see!
A: Aha! No, you want room 12A, next door.
M: Oh…Sorry…
A: Not at all!
A: (under his breath) stupid git.
(The man goes into room 12A. Another man is sitting behind a desk.)
Man: Is this the right room for an argument?
Other Man:(John Cleese) I’ve told you once.
Man: No you haven’t!
Other Man: Yes I have.
M: When?
O: Just now.
M: No you didn’t!
O: Yes I did!
M: You didn’t!
O: I did!
M: You didn’t!
O: I’m telling you, I did!
M: You did not!
O: Oh I’m sorry, is this a five minute argument, or the full half hour?
M: Ah! (taking out his wallet and paying) Just the five minutes.
O: Just the five minutes. Thank you.
O: Anyway, I did.
M: You most certainly did not!
O: Now let’s get one thing quite clear: I most definitely told you!
M: Oh no you didn’t!
O: Oh yes I did!
M: Oh no you didn’t!
O: Oh yes I did!
M: Oh no you didn’t!
O: Oh yes I did!
M: Oh no you didn’t!
O: Oh yes I did!
M: Oh no you didn’t!
O: Oh yes I did!
M: Oh no you didn’t!
O: Oh yes I did!
M: No you DIDN’T!
O: Oh yes I did!
M: No you DIDN’T!
O: Oh yes I did!
M: No you DIDN’T!
O: Oh yes I did!
M: Oh look, this isn’t an argument!
(pause)
O: Yes it is!
M: No it isn’t!
(pause)
M: It’s just contradiction!
O: No it isn’t!
M: It IS!
O: It is NOT!
M: You just contradicted me!
O: No I didn’t!
M: You DID!
O: No no no!
M: You did just then!
O: Nonsense!
M: (exasperated) Oh, this is futile!!
M: I came here for a good argument!
O: AH, no you didn’t, you came here for an argument!
M: An argument isn’t just contradiction.
O: Well! it CAN be!
M: No it can’t!
M: An argument is a connected series of statements intended to establish a proposition.
O: No it isn’t!
M: Yes it is! ’tisn’t just contradiction.
O: Look, if I *argue* with you, I must take up a contrary position!
M: Yes but it isn’t just saying ‘no it isn’t’.
O: Yes it is!
M: No it isn’t!
O: Yes it is!
M: No it ISN’T! Argument is an intellectual process. Contradiction is just the automatic gainsaying of anything the other person says.
O: It is NOT!
M: It is!
O: Not at all!
M: It is!
(The Arguer hits a bell on his desk and stops.)
O: Thank you, that’s it.
M: (stunned) What?
O: That’s it. Good morning.
M: But I was just getting interested!
O: I’m sorry, the five minutes is up.
M: That was never five minutes just now!!
O: I’m afraid it was.
M: (leading on) No it wasn’t…..
O: I’m sorry, I’m not allowed to argue any more.
M: WHAT??
O: If you want me to go on arguing, you’ll have to pay for another five minutes.
M: But that was never five minutes just now!
Oh Come on!
Oh this is…
This is ridiculous!
O: I told you… I told you, I’m not allowed to argue unless you PAY!
M: Oh all right. (takes out his wallet and pays again.) There you are.
O: Thank you.
M: (clears throat) Well…
O: Well WHAT?
M: That was never five minutes just now.
O: I told you, I’m not allowed to argue unless you’ve paid!
M: Well I just paid!
O: No you didn’t!
M: I DID!!!
O: YOU didn’t!
M: I DID!!!
O: YOU didn’t!
M: I DID!!!
O: YOU didn’t!
M: I DID!!!
O: YOU didn’t!
M: I don’t want to argue about it!
O: Well I’m very sorry but you didn’t pay!
M: Ah hah! Well if I didn’t pay, why are you arguing??? Ah HAAAAAAHHH! Gotcha!
O: No you haven’t!
M: Yes I have! If you’re arguing, I must have paid.
O: Not necessarily. I *could* be arguing in my spare time.
M: I’ve had enough of this!
O: No you haven’t.
M: Oh shut up!
(Man leaves the office)
Written by John Cleese and Graham Chapman
Calling someone a racist or whatever “phobe” is trending is a bit like this sketch. You can talk a lot and never get anywhere. No one is going to listen to a racist and no one is going to listen to those who call them racists. There are some folks who might want to question why they have lost market share and viewers, readers, and elections. It might have something to do with constantly calling others names that stop conversation. Maybe that is something we can argue about, but I am not sure what the point would be. It might help those who call the names to start winning elections again.
